America and its feuds

Feuds are not unique to America, of course -- they're the basis of, for example, the plot of Romeo & Juliet, set in Italy by an English writer -- but this one has some uniquely American features. It involves an "Elvis impersonator," i.e. someone whose job includes dressing up like and imitating Elvis Presley. (I used to run into one of these every so often at my local drugstore in Los Angeles. In full costume, he was kind of hard to miss.) Anyway, this particular Elvis was arrested and charged with sending letters laced with the "ricin" toxin to public officials, including President Obama and an obscure local judge. Fortunately, nobody was injured. (It is, by the way, completely ridiculous to send poisoned letters to the president. Guess what, Mr. Criminal Mastermind? He doesn't open his own mail.)

It soon came out, though, that the guy under arrest was innocent and was apparently being "framed." By whom? The FBI now thinks the real perpetrator was a different guy who was having a feud of some kind with the first guy. And, although this wasn't the reason for the feud, the second guy is a Wayne Newton impersonator. Wayne Newton is less world-famous than Elvis, but appeared quite a bit on America TV in the '60s and is still performing in Las Vegas, apparently with the help of fairly intensive plastic surgery. (What was the suspect's motive for manufacturing home-made ricin and trying to kill people with it? Not entirely clear, although the local judge who got one of the letters is the mother of a third guy who once defeated the suspect in a local political campaign.) And just to round out the absurdity, the new accused guy has a lawyer named George Lucas, which you might recognize as the name of the creator/producer of Star Wars.

Other ridiculous feuds include one currently underway in upstate New York between vendors of children's ice cream. Seriously. Already this one, too, has led to criminal charges, although thankfully no attempted murders. I would blame it on the hyper-competitive capitalist culture of the US, except the situation resembles the genuinely deadly "Glasgow Ice Cream Wars" of the 1980s, as well as the premise of a Scottish comedy from that era called Comfort and Joy. Maybe it's best in general just to watch out for ice-cream vendors no matter what country you're in -- those guys don't mess around.